04.24Adult DVDs
Amateur Hood Humpin 2
A lot of people make a lot of negative stereotypes about ghettos and the dark-skinned denziens that dwell inside these places. You hear people say ‘OH don’t go in the ‘Hoods… you will get robbed or killed cos they don’t understand the values of life and love’. Amateur hood humpin’ 2 shows how ignorant and wrong the people who make these assumptions about lower income neighborhoods are. After all, if you can’t afford a rich neighborhood’s fun and games of yachting and tennis, you get to make your own fun just like the people in these neighborhoods. Personally I think this movie has a neighborhood with some neighborhood chicks that I bet Mr. Rogers would have loved to have met (Mr Rogers loved black booty).
The people in this neighborhood know what being a good neighbor is all about…being there to fill the needs of the people around you and making sure that there is enough for everyone. Now this may sound like a bunch of communist mumbo-jumbo, but remember these are black people, not red people. Amateur hood humpin’ 2 is a little lacking in length, but I guess when you’re on an amateur ghetto budget, an hour or so is as good as can be expected. Also, the length you love in duration of movie is made up by the length of some of these brothers cocks and the way they slam into the depths of the local sluts’ pussies around them. The lighting and so much else could have been better, but once again who the hell can pick apart that type of stuff when they let you know straight up that they are amateurs…and the sex itself is hot enough, especially in the one group scene, to give Amateur hood humpin’ 2 a very solid three cocks-up and a recommendation to make an Amateur hood humpin’ 3.
(read more)Teenies Exposed 1
I don’t have much patience for teens…they can be annoying as fuck in oh so many ways and the mall-queens and kings frequently get on my nerves with their posing and arrogant ass behavior when I’m trying to get my shit done and get the hell outta there. But the teens in Teenies Exposed 1 give me hope for the future generations, cos even tho these teen broads are totally into themselves like so many others, they’re also happy to show their self-love and display their naked bodies for our enjoyment before revealing their true slutty natures as they get nasty with some intense cock-play and fuck sessions. That’s a trade-off I can handle.
So with Teenies Exposed 1 we get three jackable scenes that all follow the same kinda theme…hard-bodied teen slut wearing a skimpy outfit rubs her ass and her tits to the camera, then flashes her tits and licks them before getting clothed again, then rubbing herself again before being introduced to some meaty cock to fuck and suck to her hearts content. Now the thing with teen sluts is that they’re just starting to discover how totally fucking great having sex can be, and their hormones are going wild and producing intense desires and horniness that comes across in each of these hot three scenes. The teen babes in Teenies Exposed 1 keep going and going, getting fucked harder and deeper and faster with each passing moment and they never seem to slow down. That intense sexual energy is totally fucking hot and made me cum pretty hard several times earning Teenies Exposed 1 a highly jackable four cocks-up, and given that these are teen sluts, which isn’t usually my bag, that’s a fucking good rating so check it out.
(read more)American Cream Pie 2
Now don’t get me wrong, in no way shape or form am I a racist, I just see things in the same way as Bruce Springsteen…and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Anyways, when I picture American creampies in my head, I see blonde blue-eyed all-American cheerleader types getting gangbanged by whatever team they’re cheering for (or whatever team happens to be around) and while American Cream Pie 2 is a hot movie in it’s own right; it does fall short of my stereotypical expectations.
Now the beginning of each of these scenes is totally fucked up and convinces me that the director’s for American Cream Pie 2 were majorly messed up on drugs…each scene you have two chicks pretending that they are tied up to these chairs and manage to break their bonds…then like any escaped captive; they strip down and start masturbating (like what the fuck man?). Anyways whether these chicks are American or not, they are certainly the type of chicks that belong in porn, because their slutty natures come through the screen full force at you, and speaking of full force, that’s also the way that they like to be fucked. Anyone who says women can’t share should check this out cos for the most part they’re very good about sharing cock for each of these lucky dudes in all five scenes. Overall except for the idiotic beginnings (which you can fast-scan) American Cream Pie 2 was a great and very creamy movie and gets four cream-shooting cocks-up.
(read more)Double Play
Okay, enough of this bullshit. Bobby Rinaldi, I’m calling you out…and Wildlife productions, that’s right, you know I’m talking about you too. Time to find out where you’re based and come down and heads will freakin roll! I am so sick and freakin tired of people titling things as though they are something that they aren’t or something cool (that’s right Will.i.am, I am talking about you and your dumbass name too). Like you could’ve just called this ‘Hot Chicks Fucking’ and people would’ve watched it for that, instead of lying and implying that I’m gonna get to watch some chick constantly getting her holes simultaneously stuffed…especially since your movie didn’t actually have that.
So I start this up, and what do I get for my first scene…just some freaking vanilla sex like I would get to see on Playboy channel during their hardcore movie nights. Okay I figure, they’re just slowly setting the atmosphere or whatever, and then by the end of scene two, sure I’ve seen some anal and pussy fucking, but unless there’s another dude there that’s invisible I sure as hell haven’t seen any double action. So finally more than halfway through the third scene (which is also more than halfway through the movie with the title that implies it’s full of dp action…Liars) we get some dp action happening, and yeah, the chick is totally into it, she’s being hammered hard, then all of a sudden it’s over. Like what the fuck, call this movie Double Tease. The hottest scene comes next, and to give an example of how mistitled this movie is, it doesn’t even have any dudes in it. The heat factor on it is way up though cos the two chicks are obviously totally into each other, and I’m sure if you’re watching it, this is where you’ll blow your load. For being such liars, and mistitling their movie, Double Play gets only one cock-up, and if you watch it for the double action, be sure not to blink. Otherwise kudos to the chick on chick action in this movie.
(read more)Chubby Chasers 7
Chubby Chasers 7 is a movie that really lets the good times roll; as a matter of fact there are more rolls in this movie than in the average bakery, but unlike many BBW movies, this one has the advantage in that many of these rolls or at least the sweet pastries inside are also more succulent looking than in the average bakery. My biggest complaint with this movie is they really ripped us off on duration. Perhaps the producers felt that what they lost in length they could make up in girth…in a way they were right cos a couple of the chicks in this movie are damn hot, totally know how to fuck, and are better stacked than the Vatican library.
Charlie Zipless
This is one call girl cock-banging that will make you call out when you cum. Sure the chicks could be hotter but the variety and vivacious sexuality more than makes up the balance in beauty and overloads it with orgasmic energy to spare. I mean hell, next time I think about going to the bar to get laid, instead of spending the money on some stupid bitch who might not know how to give head later I wish I could call an agency like this and get such professional service…since just watching it these chicks made me shoot such a heavy load, I can only imagine what they could do in real life.
Sure the idea of calling out for sex is old…it’s probably been around since Alexander Graham Bell gave the second phone he created to his mistress but the heat and sexuality in Charlie Zipless more than make up for the lack of originality in the storyline and title.
Not only do these chicks obviously love cock and get off on being in front of the camera to show their sluttiness but one of the hottest scenes also has some girl-on-girl action that’s good enough for a jack-off session in itself.
All in all, Charlie Zipless is a very solid movie that gives a solid erection and a solid cumshot and gets four solid cocks-up.
(read more)Club Godiva
Dude….as if….unfortunately right wing fascist America that we live in now is like totally wayyy too conservative for us to have such a cool place to hang and bang. Something like this you gotta go to eastern Germany or some equally debauched disneyland of decadence out there in nowadays euro-slut Europe. But as far as a fantastical fantasyland to fuck in, Club Godiva is a place and a movie that will roxor your boxers.
Five scenes of the most sweet-ass place in the world to take a load off your feet and some other places that you totally need to get a load off of. Hot chicks willing, ready and eager to fulfill any fantasies that come into their club (mainstream ones anyway) and sizzle onto your screen as they hungrily gobble cock and in one particular super hot scene we get treated to some noisy finger banging and labia on labia action for a lucky customer’s pleasure.
All in all Club Godiva was a decent flick with better than average production values and the number one super seller for all movies, chicks that loved to fuck and gets a fantastical four cocks-up.
Damn tho, they really need to open one of these type of clubs over here.
Foot Traffic 2
Finally a movie with more soul than Terms of Endearment mixed with Shaft and blended with Superfly. Oops, did I say soul? I must be dazed and confused from the smell of all these feet…I meant sole.
That’s right foot fetish flick time…yknow what I mean, those guys who get off on footjobs and whose ancestor’s enjoyed the extra dexterity of their monkey feet when jacking off, and genetic memory carries true cos these dudes totally dig the feel of toes and soles wrapping around their cocks and jacking them with a strength and edge that I guess a handjob just lacks for them.
One of the good things about Foot Traffic 2 compared to some of the other foot fetish flicks I’ve reviewed is that there’s also actual sex in the movie and the sluts in these five scenes totally enjoy getting these dudes cocks slippery and lubed for some foot action with some outstanding blowjobs. These are chicks that obviously love cock whether it’s in their hands, in their mouth, rubbed against their bodies, in their pussies or firmly clamped between the soles of their feet and jacked with their toes. It’s a known fact that the soles of the feet are one of the more sensitive erogenous zones on the female body and that scent and sexuality go hand in hand.
So the combination in this movie when the guys go down on these chicks feet being consumed by the scent and pushing their ’slut-buttons’ as they suck on their toes raises the heat beyond what I presume even the director had anticipated and Foot Traffic 2 gets four cocks-up.
(read more)Summer Bash
The Beach Boys, The Who, Buddy Holly and many others say that there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues, but that’s because back in their day Summer Bash had not been made yet. If it had been though I’m sure it would have at least inspired another couple of albums from the Beach Boys. A summer party like this is definitely a way to get rid of any blues except for the inevitable morning after ones (which at least served to tell you that you had a hell of a fine time).
Picture a swanky stylish home with all the luxuries you can imagine for recreational purposes filled for full on party purposes with some of the hottest sluttiest milfs in this fucking business and some of the most virile cock that they could hope for for their enjoyment and all the heat that this formula produces and you know you have something that will sizzle your screen. Definitely better than watching the parties on Big Brother anyway. Not only do these unleashed milfs heat up the screen as they enjoy these cocks but there is also some awesome chick on chick action and they don’t rip you off with a lot of useless dialog…just what they need to set the scene.
A very rare yet fully deserved five cocks-up for Summer Bash.
(read more)Pleasure Highway
One of the greatest writers, pioneers and producers of all time who helped forge television viewing into what we have today as well as breaking many of the barriers of the times he lived in was Stirling Silliphant who created the edgy 60’s TV adventure drama Route 66…that famous Inter-America epic highway that is immortalized through song, film and the many many people who travelled it just to say they could. I bet Stirling wishes he could’ve lived long enough to have made this movie and broken some more barriers with this version of a trip down Route 66.
The heat factor is a constant in Pleasure Highway whether it’s the hotness of the babes or the heat pounding on them as they get pounded. But the variety of shapes and actions guarantee something for everyone. The first scene has some of the sweetest big natural tits you’ve ever seen as the chick gets thoroughly pounded in a super hot outdoor scene followed by some hot chick-on-chick action where for the viewer who prefers a little less meat on the breasts gets treated to some lithe lean lesbian licking.
The heat and intensity keep up for the rest of the movie with a steady temperature that will blow your load as well as some awesome scenery while you recharge for a second session.
Four cocks-up for Pleasure Highway.
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